Complete Self Protection By Al Peasland

What was agreed by everyone after the event however, and much to my own relief, was that everyone had really enjoyed themselves, and looking back, their fears had seemed a little unfounded.

Let me start by talking about those initial fears.

It was Dale Carnegie who said that Fear exists only in our minds, and he is totally correct.
Our fears are generated in our own minds and in order for ourselves to believe in them and feel justified for having them, we create stories and embellish on the reality and the hard facts, as if in some way proving that our fears are well founded.

One big trigger for fear within us, is our fear of the unknown.
This applied to the students during this discussion as none of them knew totally what we would be doing on this seminar. They didn’t know who else would be coming, nor if there would be any heavy physical element to the proceedings, nor if they would be fit enough to last the duration.

All of these unknowns create a welcome home for fear to breed and grow.

Fear of the unknown literally grows in the space left between the facts that we do know.

Our minds are great at filling in those gaps, sadly however, they are also often great at exaggerating those imaginary “fillers” of information.
So when we have something that we do not know, we simply create what we think it should be, and usually that creation supports what we want it to be in order to justify our fears.

So, in this particular case, I can pretty much guarantee that, where a student was worried about who else would be attending, their fears would have created the story that the room would be full of monsters, 16 stone meatheads all wanted to beat them to a pulp.
They would have seen those tough guys, heard them, fought them, been hurt by them, all within their own imagination, and all of which would have added fuel to the fire of their fears.

And whilst these imaginary stories are being created in the frightened mind, there is very little time for rational thought to get a word in.

Fear of the unknown can quite literally consume you and the end result is often, not taking the chance and not stepping forwards to find out for sure, trusting the fact that what you have imagined is going to actually come to fruition, when more often than not, it will be totally out of all proportion.

There are lots of other scenarios that can conjure and trigger our fears. Things such as the fear of failure or success; fear of the known and unknown, fear of injury, fear of loss, anticipation fear, sudden shock fear, and everything in between.

What’s important to notice is that, regardless of the fuel that ignites our fears, the actual feeling within us is usually the same every time, just at different magnitudes depending on the situation and severity, or perceived severity of the event.

Once we understand that, we can set about discovering and getting to know these feelings. We can find ways to trigger them in order to spend time analysing them.
Once you know these feelings and can learn to recognise that they are simply feelings and not actually a tangible thing, then you can start to deal with them.

“You cannot have Courage without having Fear”

Never expect to be rid of the feeling of fear, but what you most certainly can expect is to become more comfortable with those feelings and more confident in working with them and alongside them.
Eventually reaching a state where you control them rather than them controlling you.

I have entitled this short article “Stepping Through the Curtain of Fear”.
I did this because this is how I see Fear, regardless of what it is that has conjured it up at that given time.

Most people see fear as a solid, infinitely thick wall. One that stands in front of you offering no way past. And just like the person who gets turned away from a nightclub only to find reasons and excuses as to why he “never wanted to come into that crappy nightclub in the first place”, so we then turn around and walk away from this wall, making all the excuses as to why we didn’t want to rewards that lie somewhere on the other side of it.

And trust me, everything we want is on the other side of our fears, and if you keep turning away from those fears, you can make all the excuses and justifications in the world but nothing will change the fact that you won’t get what you want.

I see fear as a thin curtain rather than a vastly thick wall. A curtain that you can move, push, peek through and ultimately sweep aside and walk through.
You can peek at the rewards that lie at the other side of your fears anytime you want to. Just look at those around you who are achieving their dreams, reaching their goals and you will see people who are stepping through their fears. If they can do it so can you.
You can push the curtain and move it around – this is the same as testing yourself. Exposing yourself to fears, in order to experience them and become more comfortable with them.
As with all tests, start small and tackle things which are manageable.
Finally, when you are ready, you can start to take those steps through this curtain and step out into your goals.
Just like an actor building up to walk on stage and collect an award in front of a cheering crowd – so you will get the payback and rewards once you step through that curtain of fear.

As always, with everything I learn, I make sure that I learn the process not just the end goal. Overcoming a fear is a process that can then be transferred to all of your other fears.

“You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.”
Dale Carnegie

Thank you for reading

Stay Safe and Have Fun